BookDaily.com - 99 Film Scenes for Actors by Angela Nicholas

Annie Hall

(United Artists, 1977)

Screenplay by Woody Allen
Directed by Woody Allen
Characters: ANNIE (Diane Keaton): ALVY (Woody Allen)

NOTES: ALVY and ANNIE live m New York City. They used to live together as a couple; they don't anymore, but they have a strong emotional connection. ALVY has a date in his bedroom when ANNIE calls him about an "emergency." ALVY drops everything and rushes over.

INTERIOR ANNIE'S APARTMENT -- NIGHT
CUT TO ALVY entering ANNiE's apartment, huffing and puffing.
ALVY: (off) What's . . . it's me, open up. Are you okay? What's the matter?
ANNIE: (opens door) Oh.
ALVY: Are you all right? What . . .
ANNIE: (sighing)
ALVY: What?
ANNIE: There's a spider in the bathroom.
ALVY: What?
ANNIE: There's big, black spider in the bathroom.
ALVY: That's what you got me here for at three o'clock in the morning? Cause there's a spider in the bathroom?
ANNIE: My God, you know how I am about insects --
ALVY: (sighing) Oooh.
ANNIE: . . . I can't sleep with a live thing crawling around in the bathroom.
ALVY: Kill it! For God's -- what's wrong with you? Don't you have a can of Raid in the house?
ANNIE: No.
ALVY: (sighing) I told you a thousand times, you should always keep, uh, a lotta insect spray. You never know who's gonna crawl over. They move through the hallway.
ANNIE: I know, I know, and a first-aid kit, and a fire extinguisher . . .
They stop in the living room.
ALVY: Jesus. All right, gimme a magazine, I -- cause I'm a little tired. (ANNIE moves past him and off) You know, you joke about me, you make fun of me, but I'm prepared for anything. An emergency, a tidal wave, an earthquake . . . (he looks over on bookcase and picks up a pamphlet) Hey, what is this? What? Did you go to a rock concert?
ANNIE: (off) Yeah.
ALVY: Oh, yeah, really? Really? How, how'd you like it? Was it, was it -- I mean did it . . . was it heavy? Did it achieve total heavy-ocity? Or was it, uh, . . .
ANNIE moves through the room and off again.
ANNIE: It was just great!
ALVY: Oh, humdinger. When . . . Well, I got a wonderful idea. Why don'tcha get the guy who took you to the rock concert, we'll call him and he can come over and kill the spider. You know, it's a . . .
ANNIE: (off) I called you. You want to help me -- (she comes back in the room and to ALVY) . . . or not, huh? (hands him the magazine) Here.
ALVY: What is this? What are you . . . Since when do you read "The National Review"? What are you turning into?
ANNIE: Well, I like to try to get all points of view.
ALVY: (off) It's wonderful. Then why don'tcha get William F. Buckley to kill the spider?
ANNIE: Alvy, you're a little hostile, you know that? Not only that, you look thin and tired.
ALVY: Well, I was in be . . . It's three o'clock in the morning. You, uh, you got me outta bed, I ran over here, I couldn't get a taxicab. You said it was an emergency, and I didn't ge . . . I ran up the stairs. Believe me, I was a lot more attractive when the evening began. Look, uh, tell, . . . whatta you . . . are you going with a right-wing rock and roll star? Is that possible?
ANNIE: Would you like a glass of chocolate milk?
ALVY: Hey, what am I, your son? Whatta you mean . . . ? I, I came over t' . . .
ANNIE: I got the good chocolate, Alvy.
ALVY: Yeah, where is the spider?
ANNIE: It really is lovely. It's in the bathroom.
ALVY: Is he in the bathroom?
ANNIE: Hey, don't squish it. And after it's dead, flush it down the toilet, OK? -- and flush it a couple of times.
ALVY: Darling, darling, I been killing spiders since I was thirty, OK?
He goes down the hail and comes back.
ANNIE: Oh. What?
ALVY: Very big spider.
ANNIE: Yeah?
ALVY: Too . . . Yeah. Lotta, lotta trouble -- there's two of 'em.
ANNIE: Two?
ALVY: Yep. I didn't think it was that big, but, it's a major spider. You got a broom, or something with a --
ANNIE: Oh, I, I left it at your house.
ALVY: . . . snow shovel or anything or something.
ANNIE: I think I left it there, I'm sorry.
ALVY: Okay, let me have this. (He takes her tennis racket.)
ANNIE: Well, what are you doing, what are you doing with . . .
ALVY: Honey, there's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick. (He goes back into the bathroom.)
ANNIE: Well, okay. Oooh.
ALVY: Hey, what is this? You got black soap?
ANNIE: It's for my complexion.
ALVY: What -- whatta yuh, joining a minstrel show? Geez.
(He goes after spider, banging racket.)
ANNIE: What are you doing?
ALVY: Don't worry! (He bangs around some more, then exits) I did it! I killed them both. What, what's the matter? (ANNIE is sobbing) Whatta you . . . whatta you sad about? You . . . What'd you want me to do, capture 'em and rehabilitate 'em?
ANNIE: (sobbing) Oh, don't go, okay? Please.
ALVY: Whatta you mean, don't go? Whatta, whatta, what's the matter? Whatta you, expecting termites? What's the matter?
ANNIE: (sobbing) Oh, uh, I don't know. I miss you. Tsch.
ALVY: Oh, Jesus, really?
ANNIE: Oh, yeah . . . oh . . . (she leans on his shoulder and they kiss) Alvy?
ALVY: What?
ANNIE: Was there somebody in your room when I called you?
ALVY: W-W-Whatta you mean?
ANNIE: I mean, was there another -- I thought I heard a voice.
ALVY: Oh, I had the radio on.
ANNIE: Yeah?
ALVY: I'm sorry. I had the television set -- I had the television --
ANNIE: Yeah. (she kisses him)

(Continues...)

Excerpted from "99 Film Scenes for Actors" by Angela Nicholas. Copyright © 1999 by Angela Nicholas. Excerpted by permission. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher. Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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