Chapter One
I knew it would begin with the end, and the end would look like death to
these eyes. I had been warned.
Not
these eyes.
My eyes. Mine. This was me now. The
language I found myself using was odd, but it made sense. Choppy, boxy,
blind, and linear. Impossibly crippled in comparison to many I'd used,
yet still it managed to find fluidity and expression. Sometimes beauty.
My language now. My native tongue.
With the truest instinct of my kind, I'd bound myself securely into the
body's center of thought, twined myself inescapably into its every
breath and reflex until it was no longer a separate entity. It was me.
Not the body, my body.
I felt the sedation wearing off and lucidity taking its place. I braced
myself for the onslaught of the first memory, which would really be the
last memory-the last moments this body had experienced, the memory of
the end. I had been warned thoroughly of what would happen now. These
human emotions would be stronger, more vital than the feelings of any
other species I had been. I had tried to prepare myself.
The memory came. And, as I'd been warned, it was not something that
could ever be prepared for.
It seared with sharp color and ringing sound. Cold on her skin, pain
gripping her limbs, burning them. The taste was fiercely metallic in her
mouth. And there was the new sense, the fifth sense I'd never had, that
took the particles from the air and transformed them into strange
messages and pleasures and warnings in her brain-scents. They were
distracting, confusing to me, but not to her memory. The memory had no
time for the novelties of smell. The memory was only fear.
Fear locked her in a vise, goading the blunt, clumsy limbs forward but
hampering them at the same time. To flee, to run-it was all she could
do.
I've failed.
The memory that was not mine was so frighteningly strong and clear that
it sliced through my control-overwhelmed the detachment, the knowledge
that this was just a memory and not me. Sucked into the hell that was
the last minute of her life, I was she, and we were running.
It's so dark. I can't see. I can't see the floor. I can't see my hands
stretched out in front of me. I run blind and try to hear the pursuit I
can feel behind me, but the pulse is so loud behind my ears it drowns
everything else out.
It's cold. It shouldn't matter now, but it hurts. I'm so cold.
The air in her nose was uncomfortable. Bad. A bad smell. For one second,
that discomfort pulled me free of the memory. But it was only a second,
and then I was dragged in again, and my eyes filled with horrified
tears.
I'm lost, we're lost. It's over.
They're right behind me now, loud and close. There are so many
footsteps! I am alone. I've failed. The Seekers are calling. The sound
of their voices twists my stomach. I'm going to be sick.
"It's fine, it's fine," one lies, trying to calm me, to slow me. Her
voice is disturbed by the effort of her breathing.
"Be careful!" another shouts in warning.
"Don't hurt yourself," one of them pleads. A deep voice, full of
concern.
Concern!
Heat shot through my veins, and a violent hatred nearly choked me.
I had never felt such an emotion as this in all my lives. For another
second, my revulsion pulled me away from the memory. A high, shrill
keening pierced my ears and pulsed in my head. The sound scraped through
my airways. There was a weak pain in my throat.
Screaming, my body explained.
You're screaming.
I froze in shock, and the sound broke off abruptly.
This was not a memory.
My body-she was
thinking!
Speaking to me!
But the memory was stronger, in that moment, than my astonishment.
"Please!" they cry. "There is danger ahead!"
The danger is behind! I scream back in my mind. But I see what
they mean. A feeble stream of light, coming from who knows where, shines
on the end of the hall. It is not the flat wall or the locked door, the
dead end I feared and expected. It is a black hole.
An elevator shaft. Abandoned, empty, and condemned, like this building.
Once a hiding place, now a tomb.
A surge of relief floods through me as I race forward. There is a way.
No way to survive, but perhaps a way to win.
No, no, no! This thought was all mine, and I fought to pull
myself away from her, but we were together. And we sprinted for the edge
of death.
"Please!" The shouts are more desperate.
I feel like laughing when I know that I am fast enough. I imagine their
hands clutching for me just inches behind my back. But I am as fast as I
need to be. I don't even pause at the end of the floor. The hole rises
up to meet me midstride.
The emptiness swallows me. My legs flail, useless. My hands grip the
air, claw through it, searching for anything solid. Cold blows past me
like tornado winds.
I hear the thud before I feel it.... The wind is gone.... And then pain
is everywhere.... Pain is everything. Make it stop. Not high enough, I
whisper to myself through the pain. When will the pain end? When ...?
The blackness swallowed up the agony, and I was weak with gratitude that
the memory had come to this most final of conclusions. The blackness
took all, and I was free. I took a breath to steady myself, as was this
body's habit.
My body.
But then the color rushed back, the memory reared up and engulfed me
again.
No! I panicked, fearing the cold and the pain and the very fear
itself.
But this was not the same memory. This was a memory within a memory-a
final memory, like a last gasp of air-yet, somehow, even stronger than
the first.
The blackness took all but this: a face.
The face was as alien to me as the faceless serpentine tentacles of my
last host body would be to this new body. I'd seen this kind of face in
the images I had been given to prepare for this world. It was hard to
tell them apart, to see the tiny variations in color and shape that were
the only markers of the individual. So much the same, all of them. Noses
centered in the middle of the sphere, eyes above and mouths below, ears
around the sides. A collection of senses, all but touch, concentrated in
one place. Skin over bones, hair growing on the crown and in strange
furry lines above the eyes. Some had more fur lower down on the jaw;
those were always males. The colors ranged through the brown scale from
pale cream to a deep almost-black. Aside from that, how to know one from
the other?
This face I would have known among millions.
This face was a hard rectangle, the shape of the bones strong under the
skin. In color it was a light golden brown. The hair was just a few
shades darker than the skin, except where flaxen streaks lightened it,
and it covered only the head and the odd fur stripes above the eyes. The
circular irises in the white eyeballs were darker than the hair but,
like the hair, flecked with light. There were small lines around the
eyes, and her memories told me the lines were from smiling and squinting
into sunlight.
I knew nothing of what passed for beauty among these strangers, and yet
I knew that this face was beautiful. I wanted to keep looking at it. As
soon as I realized this, it disappeared.
Mine, spoke the alien thought that should not have existed.
Again, I was frozen, stunned. There should have been no one here but me.
And yet this thought was so strong and so aware!
Impossible. How was she still here? This was me now.
Mine, I rebuked her, the power and authority that belonged to me
alone flowing through the word. Everything is mine.
So why am I talking back to her? I wondered as the voices
interrupted my thoughts.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from "The Host"
by Stephenie Meyer.
Copyright (C) by Stephenie Meyer.
Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher. Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.