Chapter OneWHY DO WE LOVE SPORTS SO MUCH?
I mean, if you aren't a fan, sports are kind of dumb. Take basketball, for instance. People throw a ball into a basket-it's that simple. And just for doing that, players are paid zillions of dollars while millions of fans scream their lungs out. Crazy!
But people love sports. If you wanted id, you could watch sports twenty-four hours a day on television, or you could talk about it all day and all night on those radio shows where they talk sports, sports, and nothing but sports.
You've also probably heard sayings like "Sports is a game of inches" and "That's the way the ball bounces." Well, that's where I come in. Sure, it's neat when your favorite player hits a home run. But it's even neater when the ball bounces off the outfielder's head and then goes over the fence. If you're like me, first you laugh, then you wonder what the rule is, and then you tell your buddy about it.
I collect sports bloopers and show them on television in a segment I call "Spanning the World." I show all kinds of wild and wacky, outrageous sports stuff. I've been doing this for nearly twenty years and yet I've never run out of material.
Did you hear about the dwarf who once played major league baseball? Or another big leaguer who ran around the bases backwards?
An NFL quarterback once passed the ball to himself! And then there was the Football Hall of Fame star who injured himself during the pregame coin toss!
Did you know there was an NBA basketball player who scored for both teams in the same game? Or that there was a basketball, game in which the coach ordered one of his players to get down on all fours and bark like a dog?
Have you heard about the NHL hockey game that was canceled because of fog? Or the golfer who hit a tee shot that sliced onto a road, bounced off a car, and landed in the cup for a hole in one?
What about the Australian swimming coach who threw a live crocodile into the pool to make his swimmers go faster? You can't make this stuff up!
Even the rules in sports are nuts. For example, what's the deal with lines? In baseball, if a ball hits the foul line it's a fair ball. But in football, if you step on the line you're out of bounds. In tennis, if a ball hits the line it's good. But in basketball, dribble on the line and it's a turnover. Make up your mind, already!
Sometimes sports can be dumb and sometimes sports can be goofy, but no matter what we still LOVE 'em! In the following pages, you'll see why.