Seven Essential Things Needed for Relationships to Succeed

Seven Essential Things Needed for Relationships to Succeed

by Todd Corabi


Publisher Page Publishing, Inc.

Published in Parenting & Families/Reference, Parenting & Relationships, Self-Help, Nonfiction

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Book Description


Ever wonder what the keys are for relationships to be successful?

This book, sets out to explore this question and more.


“Being a young women looking for love, [this book] just makes it all so much more understandable.....blows my mind it's amazing.” -Amazon Customer (paperback)

"There were many instances during my reading of this book that I found myself thinking, 'This makes SO much sense!'"--Jaime S

Sample Chapter

What do you mean by Successful?

In the final sentence of the introduction, I stated, “The degree of success, of course, ultimately varies based on the desired goals for the relationship and willingness to try to make it successful. Thus, before anyone goes further reading this book, we must establish a definition as to what is successful. This is not an easy question to answer as the definition changes from individual to individual and also changes from factors including but not limited to the following:

• Type of relationship

• Context in which relationship is taking place

• Age

• Maturity

• Personality of people involved in relationship

• Cultural / religious norms

• Level of intimacy desired

• Amount of actual in-person contact desired

• Many more factors

Furthermore, it is easily recognizable that one person’s definition can be different from someone else’s and to them be absolutely acceptable and correct!

For the purposes of this book, when I use the word successful, successful will be the ability to be able to get along in positive, nonviolent, productive, on-going interactions that are in person (not just online) without a permanent breakdown. Feel free to shorten that if you want for you but all of those key points should be included. Some additional factors to consider for this book:

1) OF COURSE there can be OTHER things in addition to the “seven things” that will be explained and should be. Some of these other things will be examined at other points. However, I contest, these other things are dependent on the individual’s and relationship’s needs, and that the “7 things”, are essential at some level for ANY relationship to be successful and in the order I present them.

2) This information is originally intended for high school age students to use as they build relationships with their peers, parents, and “significant others.” It is entirely feasible for the information in this book to be adapted for middle school age students in grades six to eight (ages twelve to fourteen) as well as applied to young adults in college (ages nineteen to twenty-five) or even adults over twenty-five to adapt the teachings in this book for their own relationship successes.

3) There is a growing population of same-sex intimate relationships. These seven things can also apply to these relationships. However, when speaking of dating relationships or marriages in this book, I will almost always be referring to opposite gender couples (male/female).

4) There may be unmentioned factors that personally influence your relationships not mentioned here, and that will supersede suggestions in this book. As with all health topics, please self-reflect and make the best decisions based on your needs and the needs of the relationship.

5) What if there is a “required” relationship like a parent/child, and one-half of the relationship does not want the seven things? In my definitions and explanations, then the relationship CANNOT be successful. For example, if a teenage child is rebellious (some examples later), they DO NOT WANT their relationship to develop and grow with their parent(s). What they want is a relationship to meet ONLY THEIR needs! Not only is this a source of constant or near constant conflict, but also a serious threat to crash the house down forever.


Regardless of the kind of relationship or type of relationship, for any relationship to be successful, they need to have elements of seven things and must follow this set of rules. If it does not have these things, I contest, it will not truly be successful. However, as previously noted, the degree to which each relationship has each thing will vary and could still be considered successful, BUT it has elements of all “seven things.”

First and foremost, like a house, a relationship needs to be built from the ground up. We do not live in the world of make believe where we can rub a magical lamp and tell a genie you wish for a new house; then all of a sudden, POOF! a new house automatically appears. No, you have to build the house, and you have to build relationships. Ideally, you want the foundation to be laid then built up. You can’t put a roof on before the walls, and the walls cannot be put up without the foundation. However, when speaking of relationships, we often do just that. We try putting a roof on without walls or walls without a solid foundation.

Again, it’s like building a house, and you NEED seven things in order to build your relationship. It’s good to have other things, but you NEED seven things, and it has to be put together in this order:

1) Foundation

2) Walls

3) Roof

The most important part of a house is building the foundation. A lot of people want to place the walls and roof up first, but you need a solid foundation. In the New Testament of the Bible, Jesus tells a parable about two guys who each wanted to build a house. Not directly quoted, the story goes like this: one guy decided to build his house on sand and the other on rocks. Both houses were right near a river. They both built their houses. The man with the rock took a long time to prepare his foundation so his walls and roof weren’t so nice. The man on the sand did not spend as much time on the foundation, so his walls and roof were really beautiful. His house “looked” great. One day, rains came, and the river rose. Eventually, it got higher than the banks of the river. The man whose house was on the sand saw water come into his home and wash the sand out from underneath the house…that caused the house to collapse and fall into the river. He lost everything. I bet he didn’t have homeowners insurance either. But the man whose house was on the rock…YAY! He had a few leaky walls and roof, but his house stayed standing because his foundation was strong.

Such is the need for a solid rock-hard cement foundation to be placed for relationships to be built on. The three things I suggest you need are honesty, communication, and friendship. Each of these will be explained in separate chapters forthcoming.

Along with these items, you need bricklike walls. Taking the popular child’s tale of the three little pigs into consideration: when the big bad wolf huffed and puffed, he blew down the house made of straw, and he blew down the house made of sticks. However, the brick house he could not blow down. Everyone has a big bad wolf in their life and so too does every relationship. The question is, is your house you made sturdy enough to withstand the big bad wolf or not? For our house, the walls are made from trust and loyalty.

Finally, a roof. A roof is meant to provide shelter from the sun and rain. It covers you and your entire house. It culminates everything you’ve built up and allows for complete closure and meeting of the walls. Some roofs are flat, but they tend to allow rain to settle and can leak easier. Our relationship house has an apex roof, and the items that make the roof are respect and love.

Each of the next seven chapters, some shorter than others, will explain these seven things more in depth, and my hope is that you will self-reflect as to your own relationships. Are you putting into the relationship what you need to in order to make it successful? Is the person you are in a relationship with working on it? If the answer to either is no, then the hard part comes. Be fair…but ask these


• Are you expecting too much?

• Are they asking too much?

• Does it even matter?

Self-reflection is essential!


Excerpted from "Seven Essential Things Needed for Relationships to Succeed" by Todd Corabi. Copyright © 2016 by Todd Corabi. Excerpted by permission. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher. Excerpts are provided solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
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Author Profile

Todd Corabi

Todd Corabi

Todd Corabi is a 20 year Health and Physical Education teacher in the School District of Philadelphia. He holds a Master's of Education with emphasis in Instructional Design and a total of 99 credits post Bachelor's.

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