Do you feel loved? At many points in my life the answer to that
question was a resounding “NO”. Thankfully, what I discovered
through introspection and working with clients allowed me to turn that
completely around. So if you feel a void of Love in your life, whether
it is towards yourself, your relationships with others, or your day, I
invite you to keep reading because this book is meant for you.
Truth is, no matter how it may seem right now, you are right where
you’re supposed to be. I am not referring specifically to the book,
although the fact that you’re reading it means that it is the right
time for you to do so. I mean your life. That could be a tough pill to
swallow because life may be a box of chocolates but many of them are
filled with flavors not often advertised.
You may have arrived here feeling great about your life and are just
interested in new tools which will help you grow. Or, on the surface,
everything appears perfect but, deep inside, you have a sense that
something is missing. Alternatively, you may have just gone through a
tough stretch and are hoping to mend a broken heart. Whatever your
reasons are, just know that you are right where you’re supposed to be.
Because wherever you are, you are already on the path to a love-filled
life. It is a journey on which all of us embark. While we begin it at
different points in our lives, the destination is the same. It is where
all of us belong. It is our natural state of being.
“All you need is love All you need is love All you need is love, love
Love is all you need”
Many of us remember these beautiful lyrics by the Beatles2 for they
crystalize the only real “need” in life. They remind us that
everything else flows out of love and that love should be our focus.
But it also raises a question of which love?
Is it the all-encompassing unconditional love that poets write about and
we see in movies? The awe-inspiring love of a child looking at the
world? The euphoric unrelenting desire of the first romantic love? Or
the million other loves that we encounter throughout our lifetimes?
Which one or two or three do we “need”?
In my practice as a Life Recalibration Expert, and in my personal life,
I identified 3 facets of love that should be practiced every single day.
Together they make up what I call The New Love Triangle and are the
focus of this book.
To begin explaining them let’s look at Valentine’s Day, Sweetest
Day, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Commercials about diamonds,
chocolate, Viagra and shoes. They remind us to love our partners and
our parents. They educate us as to what amount of money is acceptable
to express our love and what drug to take when that love is missing.
But are we missing something else entirely? Isn’t there somebody else
we are forgetting about? There is -You!
And unfortunately, there isn’t a day to celebrate it. There aren’t
commercials on TV urging you to do it. It isn’t taught in schools and
is often looked upon as a selfish endeavor.
It is this way in part because we are taught that love is external. It
has to be received from someone else and has to be given to someone
else. And it seems we celebrate that knowledge in every way. Whereas
in reality, the key reason for people’s happiness fulfillment and
wellness is the first and most important facet of the new love triangle
The second facet is indeed loving others in your life. However, you
won’t be able to do that fully until you master loving yourself first.
Because you cannot offer what you do not possess. When you do, you can
expand to loving others and realize that “others” means a lot more
than your immediate circle consisting of a romantic partner, family and
friends. It also includes co-workers, adversaries and strangers. I am
not expanding the circle as an encouragement for you to give up your
possessions in order to roam and love the world. Instead, I want to
help you learn how to express love to all who are within it.
The third facet completing the love triangle deals with loving your day.
For instance, how often do you find yourself dreading the day ahead and
waking up already in a bad mood because you know what’s coming? Do
you look forward to the weekend so that you can get away from work? Do
you live vacation to vacation dreading the life in between? And how
often do you come home so tired and late that you feel like your whole
day has been a waste because you didn’t get an opportunity to do
anything you actually love? Unfortunately way too often.
When you combine the three facets you gain an ability to accept, give,
and feel love in every part of your life. A life in which everything is
in its proper flow. A life where you have a feeling of personal and
professional fulfillment intertwined with a deep acceptance of who you
This book describes the tried and true methods I have used with my
clients and myself to fill the life with love. It is specifically made
small enough to be put in your purse or side pocket, short enough to be
read over lunch and simple so that you could start applying its
principles right after.
Thus, allow me to show you that you really are where you’re supposed
to be. You already are on the right path because (paraphrasing John
Lennon) and unveiling a “big secret”:
“All you are is love
All you are is love
All you are is love, love
Love is all you are”
Excerpted from "The New Love Triangle" by Allen Vaysberg. Copyright © 2016 by Allen Vaysberg. Excerpted by permission. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher. Excerpts are provided solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.