SHE Teen: Becoming a Safe, Healthy, and Empowered Woman - God's Way

SHE Teen: Becoming a Safe, Healthy, and Empowered Woman - God's Way

by Rebecca St. James

ISBN: 9781414300283

Publisher Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.

Published in Christian Books & Bibles/Christian Living, Children's Books/Religions, Religion & Spirituality

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Sample Chapter

Chapter One


How can a young person stay pure? By obeying your word. Psalm 119:9

she: The title every girl gets the moment she is born.

If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully keep all his commands that I am giving you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the world. You will experience all these blessings if you obey the Lord your God. Deuteronomy 28:1-2

This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; SHE shall be called "woman." Genesis 2:23, NIV (emphasis added)

SHE: The title given to those girls who seek more from God and submit their life to being transformed into his original design. The result is a Safe, Healthy, and Empowered SHE.


Rules from your parents ... BE HOME BY 10:00 OR YOU'RE GROUNDED.



But what about your rules?

I know, you're probably thinking, Come on, I've got enough rules already. Why would I make more for myself? Let's stop right there and toss your old definition of rules out the window. For SHEs, our brand of rules means taking charge of your life. Making decisions for yourself. Choosing to go God's way, not the crowd's way. Believe it or not, these rules are the kind that will make you free.

As you grew up, so did the seriousness of your choices. Now you find yourself surrounded by a world offering you a menu of choices-anything you want to satisfy your appetite and any way you want to behave. The world says that you can choose your own truth, that what's right for you may not be right for me. But just so you know ... each choice you make comes with its own consequences.


God has provided the means for us to get to our destination. He has given us the road map-his instruction manual for life. It can help us avoid dangerous detours, dead ends, and paths that lead to places we don't want to go. Choosing the right path is based on having the right map to follow-and those choices will be guided by something solid, not on whatever feels right at the moment.

The Bible offers some rock-solid direction. Throughout the Old Testament, people had the rules God gave them for their protection. But Jesus came along and brought something more to the harsh Jewish law. He added love and mercy. Once some rulers asked Jesus why he'd broken the rules and healed people on the Sabbath. Jesus' answer was simple: The rules were made for you, not you for the rules (Mark 2:27).

WHAT WAS HE SAYING? The mastermind who created us also created the road map to make our life work best! He loves us so much, and he wants our days on earth to go well. "Do forgive your enemies [I want you to have peace and not be eaten alive by anger]"; "Don't have sex with lots of people [I want to protect you from heartache and disease and save you for that husband I have in mind for you]." He left us the Bible, which contains our life instructions.


No doubt you have big plans for your life. You want to be a woman who has it all-beauty, brains, and blessings. You want to be happy, successful, and loved. We're on this journey with you, and we want to let you in on a secret: the key to having good things happen to you and becoming the woman God made you to be is to follow his instructions.

This book will dig into the biggest issues we face as young women. The truth is that the Bible gives us the guidelines we need to live by. These aren't just the "don'ts" of life-they are also the "dos," and they were true long before your parents and teachers and anyone else started telling you about them. When you don't live God's way, you get what you don't want, and you don't get what you do want. When you do live by God's rules, you become the woman God created you to be.

A "she" lives her life by spineless rules or no rules at all. SHE is God-ruled. SHE follows her Creator's plan. SHE gains control of her life by giving up the controls to God. As a result, SHE proudly and confidently celebrates her womanhood.

Wait a second, you may be thinking. I know people-good people, godly people-who have kept God's instructions but have had bad things happen to them. They get sick or the people they love let them down or they don't get what they prayed for. How can God's promises about blessing the godly and cursing the ungodly be true when these kinds of things happen?

We understand where you're coming from. Every one of us will face hardships and disappointments, and at the time, it may seem like we aren't winning when these bad things happen. But we need to hold on to some things that are true: Sometimes God's timing is not our timing.

Sometimes he wants us to let go of the lesser prize for the bigger one coming.

Sometimes he wants to make something better inside us that couldn't happen in comfortable circumstances.

And sometimes he's looking for that girl he can shape for the highest of callings, and that can only happen with someone he can trust to trust him-someone who will follow his ways no matter what she's facing or how long it takes.


Think about the following three choices you made yesterday and their possible consequences.

List everything you ate all day long. Next list possible consequences.

_____________________________________ _____________________________________ _____________________________________ _____________________________________

Describe something you said or did to a family member, a friend, or someone at school. Next list possible consequences.

_____________________________________ _____________________________________ _____________________________________ _____________________________________

Remember one thing you thought about, even if you didn't act on it. Next list possible consequences.

_____________________________________ _____________________________________ _____________________________________ _____________________________________

One hundred years from now, only what you did for Christ will be remembered and celebrated. Everything else will be forgotten. What are you doing with your life that will be memorable for eternity?

______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________

Your life is made up of the choices you make-choice + choice + choice. Are you building the kind of life you want to live?

_____________________________________ _____________________________________ _____________________________________ _____________________________________

Your life will make a difference, either for good or bad. What kind of difference are you making?

_____________________________________ _____________________________________ _____________________________________ _____________________________________

One day Jesus will-or will not-say to you, "Well done, my good and faithful servant" (Matthew 25:21). If you really took his words to heart, how would your life change right now?

_____________________________________ _____________________________________ _____________________________________


I grew up in Sydney, Australia, in a wonderful Christian family. When I was eight years old, at a Girls' Brigade meeting at my church, I really felt God calling me into a living relationship with him. As well as giving my heart to him that night, I committed to living by his road map for the rest of my life. Though I haven't lived my life perfectly, I have experienced so much joy through following God's way. There is so much freedom in living the way our Creator designed us to live-as safe, healthy, and empowered young women.

The instructions of the Lord are perfect, reviving the soul. The decrees of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The commandments of the Lord are right, bringing joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are clear, giving insight for living. Reverence for the Lord is pure, lasting forever. The laws of the Lord are true; each one is fair. They are more desirable than gold, even the finest gold. They are sweeter than honey, even honey dripping from the comb. They are a warning to your servant, a great reward for those who obey them. Psalm 19:7-11


I already follow God's way a whole lot better than most of my friends do. Isn't that good enough? Shouldn't God grade on a curve? Is that what you're thinking right about now? Guess what-God's standards don't quite work like our standards. Answer these questions-be honest!-and think about what exceptions you make to his guidelines.

1 At a restaurant, the waiter gives you too much change. But he was rude and didn't do a very good job. What would you do?

a) Keep the money.

b) Take the money and give it to a homeless person.

c) Politely inform the waiter of his error, then give it back.

2 You walk by a man begging on the street. You think of the dollar in your pocket, and then you think about how that man might be scamming you. What would you do?

a) Give the man the dollar.

b) Walk on by without helping the man.

c) Lecture him about how he should be finding work.

3 You're with a guy you like. He kisses you and awakens feelings you've never felt before. What would you do?

a) Keep doing what feels good.

b) Take a step back and discuss with him the lines for purity you've drawn for yourself.

c) Make excuses for your behavior and see where it goes.

Yeah, But ...

1. Rules are no fun.

2. God's rules keep me from enjoying life.

3. No one else follows all the rules.

4. I'm sick of being told what to do.

5. Rules are too legalistic.

6. Rules mean different things to different people.

7. If I follow all of God's instructions, my friends will think I'm weird.

8. I'll have time to worry about living God's way when I get older.

Those that seek me early shall find me. Proverbs 8:17, KJV

This verse doesn't just mean to get up early and pray. It means that God reveals himself to people who dare to seek him early in their life. Before they mess up some big things. Before they do things that carry inevitable, inescapable consequences. Before they make lots of wrong choices.

Let's face it. The choices you make today will affect all your tomorrows. The choices you make today will set the pattern for your choices throughout the rest of your life.



I go to church because my family expects me to.

I talk about my faith only with other Christians.

I haven't thought much about why I believe what I believe.

I mostly rely on a parent or youth leader for my spiritual growth.

My decisions (like dating boundaries, the movies I watch, and who I hang out with) are based on the standards my parent or another adult has set for me.

I don't go to church much.

I'm not comfortable talking about my faith.

I'm not really sure what I believe.

I don't have an adult in my life who gives me spiritual guidance.

My decisions (like dating boundaries, the movies I watch, and who I hang out with) are mostly based on what I'm thinking or feeling at that moment.

I used to go to church, but I feel like I've messed up too much to show my face there now.

After breaking so many of God's rules, I feel as if no one will listen to me if I share my faith.

I'm not sure if God can forgive me.

My spiritual life is kind of dead at the moment.

I've already made a lot of bad decisions (like dating boundaries, the movies I watch, and who I hang out with).


Column 1 Column 2 Column 3



So you've heard lots of rules as you've grown up. You may have an edge on life with family and pastors and other godly people to steer you in the right direction. That's a good start, but it's not enough. There comes a time when you need to make your own list of rules-the guidelines that will define your life. It's time to graduate, girl-make those rules your own!


So you haven't had godly adults to teach you godly ways. Maybe the adults you know taught you things like how to solve math problems, how to write term papers, and how to dissect frogs-but not how to live your everyday life in a healthy way. But there's good news-you still have an exciting adventure ahead of you! You have the power to make your own decisions based on your life rules. And you have the power-and the assurance-to wait patiently, knowing that when you do live by the rules, things ultimately will turn out okay.


So you've already messed up. Maybe you were on the right path at one time, but you've slipped along the way. There's good news! All of us have broken the rules-even your pastor and your biggest Christian hero. The Bible calls it sin (see Romans 3:12). If you ask God to forgive you, he will. But he will also help you do it better next time. You don't have to keep breaking the same rule again and again.


EMMA (16)

I was raised in a Christian home and have attended church and youth group regularly. But in secret, I broke many of God's rules. I lost my sexual purity. I hung out with the wrong people. And just the other day, I did something I thought I'd never do: I shoplifted with a friend. Although we didn't get caught, it scared me and made me wonder what else I would do in the future. What can I do to make up for the rules I've broken?


Only 44 percent of born-again adults and 9 percent of born-again 13- to 18-year-olds are certain of the existence of absolute moral truth.

One out of five high school students seriously considers or attempts suicide over the course of a year.

One-fourth of all abortions involve girls under 20.


I can't find anything to hold on to. I must live in fear.

I can never get close to anyone in a healthy way.

I've got to get all I can get, regardless of what it costs or who it hurts.

I'll never be beautiful.

I can't be pure and have fun.

I've earned the right to hold on to baggage.

I've got to go it alone.

I can live my life out of control.

You live and die-that's it.

Do you want to stop believing in and living according to loser principles and start living the SHE life God has in store for you? Wanna start following God's instruction book for life? Wanna find forgiveness for the ways you've messed up and get wisdom and determination for doing it right from this point on?

Don't cheat yourself out of the good things that are waiting for you any longer. Don't cheat yourself out of the abundant life God promises you (see John 10:10). Now is the time to get into the game-to step into the role God designed for you to play in his eternal plan! So take the time to study God's road map, commit to doing life his way, and make choices that will honor him. In the process you'll find yourself becoming


Excerpted from "SHE Teen: Becoming a Safe, Healthy, and Empowered Woman - God's Way" by Rebecca St. James. Copyright © 2005 by Rebecca St. James. Excerpted by permission. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher. Excerpts are provided solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
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