I Left My Prostate in San Francisco-Where's Yours?: Coping with the Emotional, Relational, Sexual, and Spiritual Aspects of Prostate Cancer

I Left My Prostate in San Francisco-Where's Yours?: Coping with the Emotional, Relational, Sexual, and Spiritual Aspects of Prostate Cancer

by Rick and Brenda Redner

ISBN: 9781449779610

Publisher WestBow Press A Division of Thomas Nelson

Published in Medical Books/Medicine, Medicine/Diseases, Medicine/Internal Medicine, Medicine, Biographies & Memoirs, Health, Fitness & Dieting, Nonfiction

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Book Description

At age 58 the author (Rick) went for a routine exam to get a prescription re-filled. His Doctor insisted on performing a digital exam. The Doctor felt a suspicious lump which turned out to be prostate cancer.

In order to help others on their journey from diagnosis to adjusting to their new life post surgery, My wife & I made a very difficult decision to share our intimate emotional, relational, sexual, and spiritual struggles. We share our mistakes, victories, insights, humor, and faith.

Sample Chapter

I was led to an office and told to wait for the doctor. My doctor came in, sat down, and said, “What brings you here today?” I replied, “Doc, this is going to be the easiest appointment of your day. All you need to do is renew my prescription for Uroxatral and I’m outta here.”

The doctor said, “I’m willing to do that, but since you’re here, I’d like to check your prostate.” Alarm bells went off in my head. I wasn’t due for another prostate exam for at least four months. Like most men, this is my least-favorite exam. I try to avoid it whenever possible. Today was no exception. So I said, “How about this? You give me the script today, and I’ll schedule a prostate exam in four months.”

I thought that was a reasonable request, and I expected the doctor to agree with my plan. I was unpleasantly surprised when he said he would not renew my prescription unless he checked my prostate. His response really ticked me off . I had come into the offi ce specifi cally to get my prescription renewed. That’s all I wanted.I decided my doctor needed to learn I was a healthcare consumer and he worked for me. There was no way I would be coaxed or threatened into a prostate exam. My plan was to storm out of the office, saying, “I’ll see you in four months.”

Before I could get up and put my plan into action, however, my wife chimed in with her opinion. Since my wife wasn’t with me at the time, you may be curious as to how she managed to get her opinion heard. Many years ago, I discovered I have two wives. My first wife is Brenda. We’ve been married for thirty-two years. She was at home at the time of the exam. However, my second wife, whose name happens to be Brenda, lives in my head. She can speak to me from anywhere. She bears a striking resemblance to the woman I married. In fact, they are one and the same person, except they reside in two different places. The Brenda in my head goes with me everywhere.There is no separating from her or going someplace she can’t reach me. I wasn’t surprised to hear the Brenda in my head off er her opinion on this matter.

Unfortunately for me, she had a diff erent opinion about me receiving a prostate exam, and I knew why. Her eyes weren’t about to bulge out of their sockets during the exam; mine were. Try as I might, I could not convince the Brenda in my head that walking out on this exam would be a good learning experience for my doctor. My wife happens to be an RN, which means the Brenda in my head is also an RN. If a doctor orders an exam, it’s an RN’s job to make sure the exam gets done. My doctor had just said I needed a prostate exam, so the Brenda in my head said, “Pull down your pants and assume the position.”

The doctor must have thought I was crazy. There I was sitting in a chair, unable to respond to his request to get up and pull down my pants. I sat glued to the chair while I argued with the Brenda in my head. I was telling her there was no way I was going to have my prostate examined. I was quite certain the Brenda at home would be as ticked off as the Brenda in my head if I refused the exam. I asked myself if I really wanted to go home and explain to my wife that I was willing to suff er for four months without my prescription just to make a point. The Brenda in my head warned me not to come home without my prescription refilled. The warning was ominous, and I knew I’d just lost the argument. So I got up from the chair, pulled down my pants, leaned over the table, and gave the doctor the unspoken message: “Let the exam begin.”

There was no way to predict or anticipate that the next fi ve seconds would suddenly send a powerful tremor into my life. After the exam, my doctor explained he’d felt a suspicious lump. He went on to say I’d need an appointment for a biopsy. I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. I had come into the offi ce feeling great. All I wanted and expected was a prescription renewal.Suddenly and unexpectedly I was facing the possibility I had prostate cancer


Excerpted from "I Left My Prostate in San Francisco-Where's Yours?: Coping with the Emotional, Relational, Sexual, and Spiritual Aspects of Prostate Cancer" by Rick and Brenda Redner. Copyright © 2013 by Rick and Brenda Redner. Excerpted by permission. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher. Excerpts are provided solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
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Author Profile

Rick and Brenda Redner

Rick and Brenda Redner

After receiving his Master’s in Social Work from Michigan State University, Rick Redner spent two years as a Medical Social Worker. From there, he decided to become an entrepreneur, owning and operating two sandwich shops for the past 30 years.

View full Profile of Rick and Brenda Redner

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