Chapter OneTony Turtle
Tony Turtle was strolling through the garden
When he spied
A great big rock that had a hole
That he could hide inside.
Mom Turtle will never find me here, he thought.
I'll have my wishes
Of never having to eat my broccoli
Or help with dinner dishes.
So Tony Turtle crawled inside
But soon afterward he thought
Of how Mom Turtle stroked his shell
(He sure liked that a lot).
And how she patted his head
Before he went to bed, and kissed it
He used to think it kind of dumb
But now he sort of missed it.
He thought of Daddy Turtle
And the stories he would tell
Of brave, strong turtles long ago
Those stories sure were swell.
So Tony Turtle ran on home
To the sweet home that was his
Fast as a lightning thunderbolt
(For a small turtle, that is).
The Talking Towel
I rubbed my hands on the Talking Towel,
Was I surprised when he let out a howl
And told me that he had something to say
And could I kindly dry my hands another day.
He talked on and on about his life
About his kids and about his wife
To tell the truth he's talking yet
And my poor hands, they're still all wet.
Time was when alligators flew
And ponies said "Cockadoodle-doo"
And dogs could sing
And mice had wings
There was a time when pigs went "mew."
But nowadays the cats "meow"
A mooing sound comes from a cow
The young birds sing
The geese have wings
I think the world is mixed up now.
Nelson Noodle was so flat
As flat as he could be,
Upon a sea of soup he sat
And muttered gloomily.
"I'd love to run and jump and step
Instead of lying here,
If I could have a little pep
How full I'd be of cheer.
To jump and run and dance and sing
That is my fondest wish,
To roller skate, all full of zing
Not lie here in this dish.
Then Granny Noodle did appear
From noodleland on high,
She said, "You're prefect as you are
So, Nelson, don't ask why
You cannot run and skip and roll
Just like an ol' French poodle,
Just swim around in this fine bowl
And be proud to be a noodle."
Bang on the cymbals, beat on the drum,
A dancing elf will surely come
Cuddly Bear went to the store
To buy herself a bow,
To place atop her cuddly fur
So she would look just so.
But on arriving at the store
There were no bows in sight,
Just one small pair of roller skates
Which filled her with delight.
So 'stead of being Cuddly Bear
Whose looks compared to none,
She was Cuddly Bear on roller skates
(Which was a lot more fun!)